A soulmate is a person who is aligned with your soul and with whom you feel a deep energetic connection to. They help you achieve higher levels of awareness and consciousness by challenging, awakening and stirring different parts of you in a profound way.[i] Your soulmate will arrive when you are ready for them, and not a second sooner. The following 7 steps will help ready you for your soulmate and will create the vibrational energy that you need in order to draw your soulmate to you.

Be Clear About What You Are Looking For

Many of us obsess about meeting a soulmate, but fail to define what we are really looking for. Set apart a good chunk of time when you won’t be disturbed to connect with your heart and think about what it is you want in a partner. Avoid the temptation to think about what you don’t want because whatever you focus on expands and grows. Instead, think of all the positive traits you want your partner to have. You can include physical, mental, and emotional traits, and even include specifics such as what kind of job they do, what their family relationship is like, their temperament, and their passions and hobbies. Write these traits down on paper and then proceed to the next step.

Use the Biology of Belief

Your thoughts dictate your reality, and if you’re feeding yourself negative messages such as “I’m unlovable”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’ll never find love”, or “I only attract losers”, you are unconsciously blocking yourself from meeting your soulmate. Being unclear on what you want in a partner is equally problematic, because it sends out mixed messages into the Universe. So once you have taken the time to establish what you want in a partner, spend at least 20 minutes meditating on it. If meditation is not something you regularly do, don’t be scared off. All you have to do for this soulmate mediation is bring your attention to your breath and focus on breathing deeply. After about 5 to 10 minutes, or when you feel your body is fully relaxed, conjure up a picture of your soulmate. This next step is important – imagine you have already met your soulmate and see yourself with him or her. Focus on the love and joy you feel with your soulmate and feel great gratitude for having met them. Revisit the image and emotions of having found your soulmate daily, and practice the soulmate meditation weekly, and you will send a powerful signal to the Universe to bring your soulmate to you.

Work on Yourself

You need to align with your true self in order to draw you soulmate to you. And like attracts like, so if you want to attract a positive, happy, fun, loving, stable, and well-adjusted partner, then you need to be those things yourself. Refer back to the list of qualities that your soulmate will have and work towards achieving any traits or qualities that you are lacking. Do things daily that cultivate positivity, take personal responsibility for everything (past and present) in your life, and work towards adopting a sense of ease when dealing with life’s difficulties. You also need to work through and release baggage from past relationships. Every relationship we enter into has a message or teaching for us, so release any potential resentment and be grateful for how your ex helped you progress on your life path. Our significant others often acts as mirrors of ourselves as well, so if there were things that bothered you or that you wished you could change about your ex, they may be things you need to work on yourself. You also need to honor yourself, follow your heart, and spend time discovering who you are.

Release Childhood Traumas

It is nearly impossible to reach adulthood without experiencing some sort of emotional trauma and developing subconscious negative beliefs as a result. And the traumas aren’t always obvious, it can be something as subtle as the feeling of being neglected once a new sibling comes along. Anything that causes emotional pain in the formulative years of childhood, gets absorbed into the subconscious mind and becomes part of daily thinking and the way you view and engage with the world. Identifying and working past childhood traumas, and reprogramming your subconscious thinking patterns towards positivity, will free you from the past and allow you to radiate a sense of inner peace. Some excellent tools to achieve this include hypnosis, a regular meditation practice, LFC glasses, NLP, positive affirmations, and Emotional Freedom Technique.

Love Yourself and Your Own Company

There is nothing sexier than loving yourself, enjoying your own company, and living your life to the fullest regardless of your relationship status. When you do things that bring you joy, you radiate positive energy which will help draw your partner to you. On the other hand, if you put things off until you find a partner, and continuously worry about when or if your partner will show up, you’re sending out the message that this person is more important than you and that you need something outside of yourself to be whole and complete. You can’t expect someone else to change your life, or to make you happy, only you can do that. Spend time nurturing yourself, hang out with people who respect and inspire you, and try to fall in love with yourself each and every day. Finally, start your mornings off by looking in the mirror and saying out loud “I love you, you are incredible!”

Ditch the Birth Control Pill

The pill may prevent you from connecting with your soulmate by skewing your subconscious ability to decipher the correct match. Major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes, are molecules that play a role in immunity, and MHC combinations differ to varying degrees in individuals. MHC genes can be detected subconsciously in saliva when you kiss someone and also through body odor. We are subconsciously most drawn to those who have MHC combinations that are highly different from our own because dissimilar genes gives offspring the best chance.[ii] The birth control pill causes the opposite effect though and shifts a woman’s preference towards genetically similar men.[iii] Unfortunately, pairing up with an MHC similar man is associated with reduced sexual satisfaction, and a higher likelihood for cheating.[iv] And if you stop the pill during a relationship, the accompanying hormonal changes will drive you further away from you partner, and may lead to relationship dissatisfaction or dissolution.[v] If you want a safe alternative to the birth control pill consider using condoms, or combining the withdrawal method (don’t use this on its own) with fertility awareness. There are plenty of apps available to help you with fertility awareness, but Natural Cycles is the only one that is certified for contraception.

Optimize Your Personal Biochemistry

Your soulmate is based on matters of the soul and a spiritual contract to help each other advance in your life path’s. However the euphoric feelings you get when you first fall in love with your soulmate, are dictated by something much more tangible – they are dictated by chemicals in the body and brain. A cocktail of neurotransmitters in the brain (dopamine, oxytocin, adrenalin, norepinephrine etc.) play a role in the racing heart, addictive thoughts, butterflies, giddiness, and sweaty palms.[vi] If you have an imbalance of these neurotransmitters it may hinder your ability to experience those feelings of “falling in love” and you may mistakenly reject your soulmate thinking that they can’t be “the one” since they didn’t trigger the euphoric feelings. Hormones also play a major role in attraction and in sexual chemistry, and an  imbalance of certain hormones may prevent you from experiencing the desire, arousal, and sexual satisfaction that is expected with a romantic soulmate, which may also make you second guess the relationship. For a thorough explanation of all the love chemicals, how to identify troublesome imbalances, and how to optimize them in order to meet and keep your soulmate, get a copy of New Guide to Maximum Pleasure for Men or the New Guide to Sensual Bliss for Women.




[i] http://foreverconscious.com/the-difference-between-soulmates-and-life-partners

[ii] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18700206

[iii] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18700206

[iv] https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/birth-control-pills-affect-womens-taste/

[v] https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/birth-control-pills-affect-womens-taste/

[vi] https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/101022184957.htm